Monday, April 04, 2005

Been a While

I know that it's been a while since I last posted. You know how it goes. You hope to get something done at a certain time and life intrudes and pushes it back a while. Easter events and last week conspired against me. Please accept my apology.

Wow, what a couple of weeks! God continues to surprise me, delight me, and work on me - all at the once. He provided a free meal at Outback Steakhouse for myself, my mom, and my stepdad while giving me the opportunity to speak to them about His unmerited favor and love - God is good. All the time! He has somehow allowed me to keep my head above water despite a schedule of hospital visits, bus runs, regular activity, and family time. He challenges me over my attitudes toward Him and others. Always trying to knock off a few of my sharp edges! Let's hope it works.

God has been really chewing on me to walk my talk. I have the awesome privilege to share His word every Sunday in a fantastic community of recovering sinners and broken people. Now you might think that a pastor just gets to say whatever he thinks God is telling him to share from the scripture for a given week and that it would have little impact on the pastor's actions because, theoretically at least, the pastor has mastered the art of Godliness or being like Jesus. Hah! I wish!

The truth is I'm not any closer to that than anyone else. Just one quick look at my life would tell you that. Now, don't worry. I'm not going to dump out all of my life's baggage in this post for all of us to sort through, but I do want you to know that I struggle with the same issues that everyone else does. If you don't struggle with this anymore, would you please lead a class or small group for those of us who do?

If only I could love my kid's friends as much as I do my kids, instead of snarling at the boy from across town who comes over to play with our oldest son while I'm in the process of building a trampoline. Everyone knows that not all help is welcome at all times, but I could have surely done a better job of expressing it rather than just chasing them away.

If only my check book more adequately expressed my devotion to the things of God rather than the things of John. Is it all really necessary? Apparently I think so.

If only I could devote myself more consistently to prayer. All those other things - cleaning off my desk, searching the internet for Karmann Ghia parts, checking to see what's happening with the Cubs, sleeping in, and working on whatever else seems important at the moment - surely can wait until I've placed myself before my God. Instead God is entirely too patient waiting for me.

Finally, if only a multitude of other things. Maybe it's like home projects. Finish working on the first one before you tackle the next.

Lord, be patient with me, but keep working on me. I want to be all that you have designed me to be.

All His blessings and love for today. Tomorrow will worry about itself!

No comments: